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Though nothing stays still for long with WordPress, the design of your blog’s dashboard hasn’t changed much lately. While we’ve added new features and made some adjustments along the way, the dashboard has been looking forward to a refresh for some time. With that in mind, seven weeks ago, a scrappy gang of web designers and developers teamed up to explore how to do just that. We asked ourselves the question: “What should a modern version of WordPress look like?” We decided that:
It should have a simple, uncluttered design; free of excessive decoration and focused on your content.
It should use webfonts for beautiful, legible typography that’s consistent in every browser.
It should have a responsive design that’s tailored to PCs, tablets and smartphones.
It should do all this while retaining the familiar, user-tested dashboard interface that millions of users already understand.
We’ve drawn new icons, increased contrast and font…
Gessica sat her desk listening to the sound of her stomach rumbling. Only five more minutes until lunch, and it couldn’t get here fast enough. Demi entered the office, distracting her as she returned from running an errand. Not that she’s a germaphobe or anything, but Demi’s first instinct when returning from outside is to go straight to the hand sanitizer conveniently located in the reception area for all to use.
“Darn it!” Demi shrieked while she scanned over her attire.
Gessica had not seen what had happened, but guessed at what Demi’s irritation stemmed from. “Did you do what I think you did?”
Tami passed by and noticed that sanitizer had splashed over a good portion of Demi’s slacks. “You better run to the kitchen and wipe some of that off, so it doesn’t stain.”
“Yeah, you got a point,” she answered as she followed Tami, headed in the same direction.
“Oh my God!” Demi shrieked once again.
Now what’s wrong?Gessica thought as she heard the commotion. Then she gazed upon Demi in route back to her office.
“Hey, what happened,” Gessica called out. “I heard you all the way from here.” However, before Demi could respond, Gessica noticed the culprit.
“Oh my gosh! How hard did you hit the nozzle?!”
There was a long wide stretch of wetness that ran down Demi’s slacks. She was the only person in the office that smacked on the nozzle as if she was playing on the television game show, Family Feud.
“It squirted out, but I didn’t realize how bad it was until I saw it under that darn bright light in the kitchen,” snorted Demi.
Gessica laughed. “What did I tell you about attacking that bottle? Now it looks like you pee’d your pants.” She was not aware that anyone was listening until she heard laughter emanate from Bronwyn and Anna.
Demi rolled her eyes and walked away, only for Anna to catch sight of what Gessica had referred to. “She’s right; you do look as if you had an accident. You better go back to your office and hide out until it dries,” she exclaimed as she chuckled.
“Whatever, you both are crazy!” Demi replied, as she sauntered out of sight.
About an hour later, Gessica returned from lunch. She needed change for the bus, but had not wanted to venture outside. If anyone had it, Anna would for sure.
“Hey Anna, would you happen to have change for a five dollar bill?” She asked as she stood leaning against her cubicle wall.
In her dainty, graceful fashion, she replied, “Um, yeah I do,” she said and reached down into a drawer to retrieve her bag pulling out her change purse.
“I knew you would have it,” Gessica confirmed, “you always keep your granny change purse filled.”
“Hey, excuse you!”
“What? It’s the truth. You and Demi are the only ones on Earth that won’t use a debit card and keep cash on hand.”
Anna simply chuckled not paying much attention to Gessica. It didn’t matter that Gessica constantly teased her about keeping her change purse stuffed with dollars.
“What are y’all talking about?” Demi asked as she marched toward them.
“None ya,” replied Gessica.
“It’s for us to know—none of your business. That’s what I meant.” Demi just stared. That same cat-like stare that she gave everyone instead of mouthing off and saying what she wanted to, not knowing that her eyes said it all. She was one funny person.
Bronwyn went shopping over lunch. When she returned she had on the cutest knee length boots that accentuated the skirt she wore. They were a brownish-taupe suede boot with a high heel. Demi’s other name should be shoe whore. She just needed to see how they looked on her.
“Unzip them and let me put them on for a moment.”
“There you go demanding again,” Anna said.
“How do you even know that she is okay with you putting your feet in her new boots?” Gessica asked.
“Oh, she doesn’t care. Shut up!”
“It’s not nice to say shut up, Demi,” Anna stated.
“Yeah, what she said,” Gessica concurred.
“Shut up,” she repeated again.
“Pfft. How rude,” Gessica replied laughing.
Truth of the matter, Bronwyn didn’t care, and readily removed them for Demi to put on her feet. They both have a size 7, baby feet, so it was a perfect fit. The second Demi stood, her inner model came out; she strutted back and forth, sashaying her hips as if she were dancing on a bar. Then she started singing. Well her version of singing, because every song she sings always end up sounding like opera.
She started strutting again as if on a runway, stops, swivels around, and sings, “These boots were made for walking.”
She repeated the same chorus about ten times since they were the only lyrics of the song she knew. And, as she performed, the girls stood there in hysterical laughter as they watched her humorous performance. You would have thought it would have ended there, but it didn’t, and her rendition of Umbrella, by Rhianna, immediately followed.
“Under my umbrella, ella, ella, ella, ay, ay,” she chirped out as she held on to a pretend umbrella while she danced around.
She was one comical chick, and you couldn’t help, but crack up at her silliness. When she tripped on the carpet, that’s when Bronwyn made the decision to ask for her boots back before the goof ball broke her heel.
“You are such a nut!” Gessica voiced.
“But you love me…mwah,” said Demi, as she blew dramatic kisses.
What can anyone say except there’s nothing like seeing Demi act like a fool to lighten up the day. Gotta love her!
I hope you are enjoying reading G’s Charismatic Bunch. The series will run until May 1st (an extra week thrown in for the Friday I missed). However, I would be happy to postpone the date for the time being if I could get some positive feedback. With that being said, please participate in the poll below. I plan on making a decision by April 30th according to the results from the survey.
Big plans after work for G and her Bunch are going out to dinner; all except for Anna because she’s sick. They decided on a nearby diner and bar that was reasonably priced. The decor…well it bordered on bad, but in the right light (dim) it was fine, and the food wasn’t bad.
What they didn’t know was that it was karaoke night. That would explain the peculiarly large crowd of people that occupied the vicinity. As they entered, Demi immediately spotted an empty booth, and made a bee line for it as the establishment was filled up fast.
“What do you say girls, shall we start off with some Kamikaze shots?”
“Sure,” they all agree in unison.
The drinks arrived, and after a quick toast they guzzled down their alcoholic beverages. “That went way too fast; I’m going to order us another round,” stated Demi.
“Not for me,” said Tami, “I need something a little milder—order me an Amaretto on the rocks.”
“You’re being a party pooper,” Demi replied.
“Maybe so, but I do need to be able to drive home, so I’m sticking with one Amaretto.”
“She does have a point, Demi,” Bronwyn added.
“Fine, just means there will be more for us,” she gleefully pointed out.
“Maybe we should limit you to one shot, your mouth hasn’t stopped yet,” said Gessica as the women erupted in laughter.
The waitress returned and along with ordering dinner, Demi took it upon herself to get three more rounds of Kamikazes and three glasses of Captain Morgan with Coke. They chatted and enjoyed their drinks until the food arrived. It was during dinner that they realized Karaoke was about to start.
“You should get up there and sing Bronwyn. You have a lovely voice,” Demi advocated.
Demi was the one that always persuaded the other person to do something. She would be a fantastic campaign manager. Gessica sat next to Bronwyn and peered over in her direction as she awaited the response. About now the drinks had taken effect because Bronwyn’s eyes looked a little glassy. And, although Gessica and Demi had consumed the same amount, the only effect that it had on them that it made them was more happy than usual. Tami of course was nearly sober because she was still babysitting her ONE Amaretto on the rocks.
“Ahh, Bronwyn, I think that guy is staring at you,” Demi stated.
She whipped her head around to see, “What guy?” She slurred.
It was then that she saw he motioned for her to come over, and to their astonishment she did. He was a black guy, maybe about fifty-something who looked like pimp daddy from the 70’s, dressed all in black. All meaning long black leather coat, black dress hat, black sunglasses (not that he even needed them because it was evening) and even a black cane. He was the funniest looking character they had seen the whole evening. As soon as Bronwyn returned to the table, they pounced as they wanted to know what he wanted.
“Soooooooo,” everyone questioned.
“He wants to sing a song with me.”
“You said no right?” asked Gessica.
“I said yes.” They cracked up laughing.
“What song?” Demi asked.
“Okay…well this should be interesting,” said Tami as she tried to be nonjudgmental. However, Gessica and Demi just didn’t care what blurted out of their mouths.
“What the heck? I don’t know if I can keep from laughing when you get up there. This is going to be one hell of a funny sight,” Gessica declared.
“Bronwyn and Pimp Daddy, wow, I need to record this. One of y’all, get your phone camcorder ready,” Demi affirmed as she caused herself and everyone else to laugh.
“Why are you giving her a hard time Demi, all she’s doing is singing, not marrying the guy. Don’t worry B, I got your back,” Gessica defended.
“Aww thanks G,” she said as her words ran together.
She threw her arm around Gessica’s shoulder and garbled, “G, doesn’t matter if you’re black or white, I still love you and I know you have my bat.” She hiccupped. “I mean back.” The women started laughing again.
“I know what you meant B, and I love you to,” Gessica said as she hugged her back.
The conversation ended with Bronwyn and Pimp Daddy called up to sing. Bronwyn has an extremely good voice, and Pimp Daddy wasn’t bad, but he wasn’t exactly impressive either. The duo was going okay at first; that is until Pimp Daddy thought that he was a famous music artist and tried to out sing Bronwyn.
He was acting like they were Sonny and Cher, getting all close in her face as he loudly belted out his lyrics. This guy became engrossed in the song, and as his vocals got louder and louder, his movements became more dynamic as he engaged with the seated crowd.
Tami, Gessica and Demi, laughed so hard they were in tears. Poor Bronwyn; they were sure she was aware of what was happening, but she handled it nicely. To their amazement, she managed to stay focused and continued on, ignoring the fact that he was making an ass out of himself.
I don’t think the song could have ended fast enough for her, for as soon as it was over she was off the stage in a flash. Bronwyn already knew that she was not going to hear the last of this fiasco. For the next half hour, they gave her a hard time as they cracked jokes and imitated the performance. They were being a pain in the ass, but she knew it was all in fun.
“It’s time to head out of this joint and go home. I’m glad I was able to make everyone’s evening enjoyable,” said Bronwyn jokingly.
“Yup, that and then some ten times over,” said Gessica laughing.
“We won’t ever forget this day Bronwyn,” stated Demi.
“Dinner for four – $60, alcoholic beverages – $40, but Bronwyn singing with Pimp Daddy…priceless!” Tami acknowledged. G’s Bunch exploded into laughter as they gathered their belongings and headed home.
I hope you enjoyed the third installment of the series; Have a great weekend!